As a Full-Time Caregiver, Stand-Up Comedy Gave Me a New Lease of Life

It’s no secret that many family caregivers often devote themselves to their role until they burn out. Full-time caregiver Dan Harding shares how his new hobby, performing stand-up comedy, has helped him look at his life with fresh eyes.

In 2018, I was working a full-time job as I juggled full-time caregiving for my brother, who lives with nonverbal autism, and my mother, who had terminal cancer (her official diagnosis was multiple myeloma) and was undergoing treatment.

At the same time, I was desperately trying to maintain a relationship that was turning more toxic by the day.

I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. My career, caregiving, and thankless relationship meant I had no time left for myself or my hobbies, and I had very few friendships left.

After some traumatic events that proved to be the last straw for us, I finally ended the relationship. It was time to reflect on who I was and what I wanted to do.

Caregiving has its ups and downs – but I needed something for myself

I've been an avid fan of comedy - especially stand-up comedy - since I was a kid. I constantly watched people like Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, and Eddie Murphy on TV throughout my childhood (and adulthood when I had the time).

It was in early 2019, and shortly after my ill-fated relationship ended, that I saw the advert on social media. It was promoting a free, 4-week comedy course with professional mentoring. Our first-ever gig would be for an event to raise money for cancer charities – which was especially poignant, considering my mom’s health at the time.

I couldn't believe it - it was as if it was destiny. I signed up, and a few weeks later, I was in a room with 40 other people, all of us shy and trying to figure each other out.

The next few weeks flew by. The professional comedian was generous with trips, tricks, and pointers. They also never tried to restrict our individual voices, giving us all the freedom in the world to come up with whatever content we wanted.

I'd never considered myself the most creative or outgoing person. When I told my family, they were surprised - but pleased - as I was usually reserved with them. 

I started to rediscover my interests, my social life, and my capabilities

As a group, the budding comedians were all super supportive and a genuinely lovely group of people from all walks of life. Four years later, I still perform whenever possible, and some of my fellow course-takers have become my best friends.

For the charity event, 20 of us performed in a venue with over 200 spectators. It was one of the best feelings and exciting moments of my life. Everyone did well. I knew it was something I wanted to do over and over again.

Since then, stand-up comedy has been a passion that's become "mine." It's a time to let loose in constructive ways. A time to live positively, with an outlet for my long-forgotten creativity and a way to deal with my frustrations.

When my brother has gone to bed, I turn to writing jokes, creating more episodes for a podcast with two of my friends, and hosting an Open Mic night on Wednesday evenings.

I've started traveling to new towns and new cities, performing in rooms that are both full and empty, with audiences who are ready to laugh or, sometimes, ready to leave. It's not a money-maker (yet), and this hobby often costs me money. But I love every second of it - even when the night hasn't gone well. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often!

I’ve remembered how happiness feels without guilt

I've made friends, gained confidence, and I'm doing something that is mine, which is the most important thing. Focusing on me and my happiness can make me a better person – and a better caregiver to my brother.

All the late nights, practice, and labors of love were cemented as "definitely worth it" when I won The Norman Award: Newcomer of the Year 2023 at Hastings Comedy Fringe Festival, UK. This happened two months after my mother passed away from multiple myeloma.

My mom was always so proud, no matter where I performed. She saw me perform once in the early days, but then she became too ill. But, no matter how sick she was, she'd always ask after my comedy and lived for my stories.

After winning, it was the first time in years that I felt genuinely happy without feeling guilty.

Stand-up comedy, and the fantastic people I met along the way, came into my life when I really needed it.

The information presented is solely for educational purposes, not as specific advice for the evaluation, management, or treatment of any condition.

The individual(s) who have written and created the content in and whose images appear in this article have been paid by Teva Pharmaceuticals for their contributions. This content represents the opinions of the contributor and does not necessarily reflect those of Teva Pharmaceuticals. Similarly, Teva Pharmaceuticals does not review, control, influence or endorse any content related to the contributor's websites or social media networks. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered medical advice or recommendations. Consult a qualified medical professional for diagnosis and before beginning or changing any treatment regimen. 

NPS-ALL-NP-01140 NOVEMBER 2023